Happy Bloody Christmas by Jo Middleton #booktwt #bookreview #HappyBloodyChristmas

 

Happy Bloody Christmas by Jo Middleton 

Published by Avon Books

Publication Date: 26th September 2024

Book Description:

Anna's Christmas Eve To Do List:

1. Wrap the kids' presents​

2. Peel the potatoes ​

3. Get rid of the dead body?!

Hungover and exhausted after her family's annual party, all Anna Johnson wants for Christmas is to finish her to-do list and finally sit down with the world’s biggest glass of wine.

But when she stumbles across a dead body in her larder, her plans are well and truly buggered.

A mysterious death in her home really is the last thing she needs, but with her judgemental in-laws arriving in less than twenty-four hours, turning her house into a crime scene is not an option. If she’s going to save Christmas, it’s up to Anna to find out what the hell’s gone on. Oh – and figure out what to do with the body before one of the kids finds it.

My Thoughts:

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not a huge fan of Christmas. Too much commercialism combined with not being a particularly religious person means that it doesn't have the same significance for me as it does for many - especially now that I am not responsible for creating a magical event for my children now they are adults. So, when I spotted Jo Middleton's book Happy Bloody Christmas I felt that it could be my nod to the festivities but without all the saccharine sweetness that so many festive novels contain.

Anna and her husband always host a Christmas party for their friends, and this year is no exception. Unfortunately her boss overhears her discussing it and invites himself along to join the celebrations. The last thing Anna wants is her boss cramping her style - and sadly for him it turns out to be one of the last things he does. The morning after the night before finds Anna clearing away glasses and leftover food, her mind distracted by thoughts of everything she has on her 'to do' list before the in-laws arrive expecting 5-star treatment and delivering snarky comments alongside the children's gifts. Imagine her shock then as she opens her sizeable walk-in larder, the one all her friends are envious of, to find a dead Santa sprawled among the baking supplies and breakfast cereal packets with a knife sticking out of his midriff. The story that ensues is a comedy of dubious decisions and phone calls to her best friend - because of course you'd phone her for advice before calling the police, right? 

I really had high hopes for this book, but was left feeling like I needed more laugh out loud moments. Yes, there were a host of comedy moments however I found the lack of competency from the attending police personnel laughable, but not in a good way - maybe I read too many crime thriller books and my brain was expecting a certain level of procedure-following to happen. Note to Self: this book is not meant to have that level of seriousness. Picture the Keystone Cops in the 21st century, who have one eye on the time while attending a murder scene because the office Christmas party is about to start. That bit didn't work quite as well as it could have for me. I did, however, love Anna's best friend who was intent on making herself a murder board out of any available crafting materials her kids had left behind before setting off for Christmas at their dad's. She uses "the case" and a few glasses of alcohol to distract her from the loneliness of her first child-free Christmas and the reader is privy to some rather amusing phone calls between her and Anna as they try to work out Whodunit. Each of the party guests is analysed in ever-more comedic scenarios as the two friends attempt to work things out before the police. I felt sorry for Anna's husband who very much took a back seat and was just enlisted to babysit the kids and do menial tasks while she played detective. How many men would realistically take this role with the enthusiasm he did?? But there again, I suppose it is a Christmas novel so we need to suspend reality and enjoy the easy to read storyline. 

Will the case be cracked and the murder solved before the turkey is carved? Will Anna's neighbour turn out to be Miss Marple herself or just the nosey busybody in charge of the Neighbourhood Watch Scheme? If you want to know who killed Santa in the larder with the carving knife and have some chuckles along the way, then Jo Middleton will certainly have you entertained. Me? I think I am destined to not really be a Christmas spirit kind of girl, no matter how much I try.

About the Author:

Jo Middleton is a writer, mum of two grown-up children and servant to three cats and a golden retriever. Jo began writing 20 years ago, and in 2009 created her award-winning blog Slummy Single Mummy. Jo published her first novel, Playgroups and Prosecco, in 2019 and has since gone on to work with her good friend Gill Sims, hosting her 2022 theatre tour and co-hosting a podcast, It's Five O'Clock Somewhere. You can follow Jo on Instagram @jomiddletonauthor.

The House Swap by Miranda Rijks #NetGalley #TheHouseSwap @MirandaRijks

The House Swap by Miranda Rijks

Published by Inkubator Books

Publication Date: 4th December 2024

My thanks to the publisher for allowing me early access to this book via Netgalley. All opinions are my own and unbiased.

Book Description:

Two perfect families. Two beautiful homes. A one-way trip to hell.

When two families organise a house swap, it seems like the perfect holiday arrangement.

The Browns will exchange their London townhouse for a stunning chateau in the south of France, the perfect place to relax and rekindle their flagging marriage.

And the Lesters are looking forward to showing their son, Rafael, around their old haunts in the British capital.

Sounds wonderful. Except for one thing - both families are hiding dark secrets, and secrets have a way of coming out...

In France, there’s a mysterious break-in at the chateau. Then the Browns discover that a woman who lived there disappeared and was never seen again. Instead of feeling rested and relaxed, they now feel isolated and vulnerable.

Then, in London, 17-year-old Rafael vanishes without a trace.

As the tension mounts to an unbearable pitch, both couples are forced to face their darkest demons. Someone won’t be coming home…

My Thoughts:

What a delightful prospect - a house swap between glamorous Knightsbridge and beautiful Provence. But as with all things, a bit of research goes a long way and the two families involved in this house swap would both have done well to looked into things just a tad deeper before they agreed to the exchange.

The Lesters have very cleverly marketed their chateau in Provence, the surrounding vineyards and deliciously inviting turquoise pool presenting the ideal holiday in the sunshine. The Browns stunning Knightsbridge home is to die for with its contemporary kitchen, stunning bathing facilities and close to all the amenities location giving visitors everything they could possibly need during their stay in the capital. But neither of the owners have been entirely transparent about why they are so keen to exchange. There are secrets galore in both families, but there are also two adorable dogs who are probably the most likeable characters in the whole book.

The first surprise comes early on, when the Browns arrive at the chateau to find that the Lesters haven't actually set off for the airport yet - all becomes clear soon after they do depart though, when they discover that the chateau isn't all it's cracked up to be in the photos. Tensions quickly escalate the following morning when builders arrive to continue renovation works which Susan overlooked telling their guests about. And why do the locals turn frosty when they find out where the visitors are staying?

The author peels back the layers of each family's deceptions and plants questions in the reader's mind as to the full extent of what is going on as the chapters flow steadily along. The characters are very well constructed - if not particularly likeable - and the whole plot is extremely credible. I could imagine being in Elodie's shoes as she realised the situation she found herself in compared to her beautiful London home. Susan had the much nicer end of the deal, but certainly didn't deserve the high life as much as she felt she did. Her husband and son certainly deserved better, I felt. The descriptions of the two very different locations were perfectly described - I really felt as though I were walking the streets of the local town in Provence as Elodie visited the market stalls, and felt the bustle of London's busy streets as Susan made her way to yet another of her mystery meetings with old friends.

The book builds to a steady climax and the pace picks up considerably as the twists are revealed. There's a satisfying conclusion and I felt that all the loose ends tied up nicely but didn't feel at all forced. A strong 4 star read with plenty to keep the reader occupied.

About the Author:

Miranda is the author of twenty psychological thrillers published by Inkubator Books, many of which have been Amazon bestsellers. Prior to becoming a fiction writer, she helped newbie entrepreneurs turn their ideas into successful businesses. She is also the author of a self-help book  published by Bloomsbury and a biography published by The History Press.

In 2015 she was diagnosed with Ewing’s Sarcoma, a rare bone cancer, and this completely changed things. Although she’d been writing all her life, and has a first class Masters in writing (as well as a degree in Law, coaching and psychometric testing qualifications), she decided to ditch the business plans and focus on fiction.

Miranda lives in Sussex, England with her Dutch husband and two black Labradors. When she’s not writing twisty, fast-paced thrillers, she’s obsessively knitting, painting on her iPad and spending time in the Swiss Alps.

Miranda was a business mentor for The Prince’s Trust for 10 years and has worked closely with various other charities in business volunteer roles. She is currently a trustee of a small charitable trust and is a lay grant reviewer for Sarcoma UK.